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Helping Makes You Happy

June 12, 2022 by Esther Neumann - [rt_reading_time label="Reading Time:" postfix="minutes" postfix_singular="minute"]

The wave of refugees is once again rolling through Europe. A lot of people stay there, others are going on somewhere overseas. A lot of volunteers are needed to take care of them. But being able to help is not a one-way street. It makes us happy and is important for our own satisfaction.

Helping other people is actually in our blood. Who could walk past a small child who has fallen on the gravel road and is now bawling his eyes out? It sees red, its own blood. That makes the tears flow even more. We set it up, clean it, blow the pain away, comfort and rock it.

An old lady stands wringing her hands at the ticket machine. She doesn’t have a clue how it works. She has to get a ticket. No one is around to explain this machine to her. You pass by and can’t do otherwise than to help her.

In the last few months, tens of thousands of people have got together, organized and joined aid organizations. They have set up platforms to teach the refugees the local language, to organize living quarters for them, to offer them leisure activities and to provide them with the necessities of life. People lend a hand where it is necessary. They do this in their free time. Some even travel abroad, to places where people are fleeing, where the need and desperation are greatest. Doctors take care of the sick. Others cook many meals every day and carry them to the train stations. Aid teams set up tents to protect people and relief supplies from the rain. Many are willing to work to the point of exhaustion. They drive their private cars to transport relief supplies to where they are needed.

Impact

Anyone who helps realizes it’s a win. Satisfaction and joy that you were able to help, come to yourself. You feel a sense of belonging and discover a sense of community. If you look more closely at people, the images of fear in our heads disappear. You no longer believe that you could be exploited or even robbed. Embarking on the adventure of helping allows one to participate in the other culture. Most refugees are proud when given the opportunity to cook one of their national dishes. And we can even broaden our horizons by being interested in their lives, their needs and fears.

An Ukrainian girl with a typical national bakery.

In Spite of Ourselves

It makes us happy when we can live out our Christian values. Many are guided by the text: “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.” (Matthew 7:12) Some have fears about helping, but they cannot bear to do nothing and are happy afterwards that they did it in spite of themselves. Still others see it as a privilege to live in a safe country and want to give back out of gratitude.

It’s the Need

It’s true, of course: Where many thousands have passed, rubbish and dirt are left behind and not a green blade of grass grows anymore. But can you blame them? For what reason are they fleeing? Did the fear of a new bombing bring them? Or the terrifying fear of witnessing once again how a friend who was walking next to you is torn apart by a shell splinter? Or the fear of being tortured or raped by Russian soldiers? The reasons for fleeing are manifold. Nobody leaves their homeland voluntarily.

Ukrainische Flüchtlinge gehen über die Grenze

A mother of two is driving her car, bringing raincoats and rubber boots to the Austrian border where the refugees are waiting in the cold rain for the buses to take them on. Our helper hands out the raincoats to a father of three who is waiting for the buses with his wife and an uncle. All family members are cold and discouraged. They have an invitation in their pocket to visit one of their father’s brothers in Sweden. But how to get there? And now night is falling again. Our helper has distributed everything and is on her way home. But she has no rest, she always has to think of the waiting, freezing family. She turns around and finds the family in the crowd. She calls her husband and asks him to come to the border with a second car and three child seats. Without further ado, they take the foreign family home with them.

Everyone gets a towel and a warm bath. The own children and the strangers soon play contentedly with each other despite the language barrier. After a satisfying dinner, everyone sits together, chatting heart and soul, laughing a lot and making plans for further help. After two days the time has come. A happy family is put on the train – with Sweden as their destination. The brother there knows that his relatives have been helped and that they will come soon. Another happy family stays behind in Austria. They are satisfied that they were able to help at least a few people. This spurs on and encourages us to continue helping. A drop in the bucket? True, but many drops form a rain that fills the bucket. Anyone can become a drop and get involved. There are no limits to the imagination. And the joy will come back and make you happy!

If you cannot go personally to help, you still have an opportunity to get involved. I think it is time to show our help to those in need, and I am donating to OCI, an institution that has several member projects in the Ukraine and neighboring countries, who know the needs first hand are doing their best to help out in alleviating the pain of those who have the greatest need right now. Find out more what they do and make your donation to make a difference right now:

Donate Now

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This Happens in Your Brain When You Drink Too Little Water

June 5, 2022 by Dr. Cesar Vasconcellos de Souza - [rt_reading_time label="Reading Time:" postfix="minutes" postfix_singular="minute"]

Do you think you only need to drink water when you’re thirsty? Did you know that thirst is already an alarm? Drinking water only when you’re thirsty is like putting fuel in your car only when that little alarm light comes on, saying you’re running out of gas. Is water important for the brain?

This Happens in Your Brain When You Drink Too Little Water

Our brain depends on good hydration to function well. Brain cells and neurons require a delicate balance between water and different chemicals to function. When you lose a lot of water, sweating a lot for example, and you do not replace it, this balance is disrupted. Your brain cells lose their efficiency. Scientific studies have shown that when we’re dehydrated, it’s more difficult to keep our attention focused. Dehydration of the brain can produce both short-term and long-term memory impairment. Poor hydration can impair the ability to do mathematical calculations, such as calculating whether you will arrive at work on time, if you put off your alarm clock for another ten minutes.

Normally, the longest period of each day we go without ingesting liquids is the hours of sleep, which last about 6 to 9 hours each day, depending on the person. Despite the fact that sleeping usually doesn’t make us sweat, except in the summer if we have no air condition, it doesn’t mean that we don’t lose water while sleeping. With each breath we expel moisture, and the tendency during this hours of sleep is to dehydrate. That’s why it’s important to drink pure water throughout the day, and especially when you get up in the morning, at least one glass of water on an empty stomach. If you want your body and brain to function well, make a conscious effort to drink water from the moment you wake up, starting with getting out of bed in the morning. Think what a blessing to know that, and to have plenty of water available.

On our planet, millions of people have a shortage of drinking water. About 38,000 children under the age of five die each week because they don’t have clean water to drink; did you know that? Women in some African countries walk hours a week, carrying 5 gallons of water in containers, drawing even from places with unsafe water. What a blessing you have, for having pure water in your house, isn’t it? The brain is 75 percent water. So imagine how important is water for the brain to work well.

It is important to drink at least eight glasses of water a day to be healthy; and in the summer even more. There is a difference in the amount to be ingested, according to the activity performed throughout the day, the person’s weight and the season of the year. Having a glass of water every hour of the day (between meals) is a good habit, some people even recommend it. We usually don’t realize that we are dehydrated. We only remember to drink water when we feel dizzy, or when the skin becomes dry.

You may not notice it, but your brain does! It becomes slow to respond to stimuli if it is not properly hydrated. Water is a great remedy, both outside and inside the body. Water helps the blood flow to the brain and calms it, as well as helping to eliminate toxic substances. Brain cells require twice as much energy as other cells in the body, and water contributes more to brain energy than other substances. Drinking water helps children and adults to prevent attention deficit disorder. The lack of correct hydration affects the brain, producing tiredness in the afternoon, difficulty in focusing thoughts, exhaustion, some types of headache, sleep disturbances and loss of mental clarity.

It is important to ingest pure water throughout the day for proper brain function, as it has no way of storing it. Studies have shown that if you are only 1% dehydrated, you will have a 5% decrease in cognitive function, in reasoning. Prolonged dehydration can cause a decrease in the size and mass of brain cells. This is more common in older people who tend to be chronically dehydrated for years. By hydrating your body well, your brain will benefit from the removal of toxins, improving the exchange of nutrients and leading to better concentration and alertness.

Brain inflammation is often associated with various types of injuries. When the brain is not properly hydrated, inflammation gets worse. A study of young women showed that the loss of 1.36% of body fluids after exercise impaired mood and concentration, increasing the frequency of headaches. A similar study of young men showed that losing 1.59% of body fluids resulted in memory impairment increased anxiety and fatigue. It is important to know that 1 to 3% of fluid is equivalent to the loss of 1 to 4,5 lbs (½ kg to 2 kg) of body weight for a person weighing 150 lbs (68 kg). So, after doing physical activities, drink a good amount of pure water.

It’s worth remembering: drinking water throughout the day helps your brain and improves concentration, helping you think more clearly. It also helps balance mood, maintains good memory, increases blood flow and oxygen to the brain, and helps prevent some types of headaches.

Researchers at the University of East London believe that when you quench your thirst, your brain can better focus on the task at hand. They did an experiment with 34 men and women. They were given a first test for them to take after breakfast, which included cereal and protein bar. For a second test, they ate cereal, a protein bar and drank a bottle of water. Those who said they were thirsty improved the test time after drinking the water. Drinking water made their brains work 14% faster than before drinking it.

If you want your brain to do well, drink plain water throughout the day, but not together with your meals. This is important for a number of health benefits, and essential for optimized brain performance. Remember, 75% of our brain is water. We can see how important drinking water is to stay mentally well. Drink water! Peace and Light!

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The Concept of Salutogenesis

May 29, 2022 by Esther Neumann - [rt_reading_time label="Reading Time:" postfix="minutes" postfix_singular="minute"]

The term salutogenesis comes from Latin. Salus means safety, health, well-being. Genesis is Greek and means origin. One could literally translate it as: the emergence or generation of health. The medical sociologist Aaron Antonovsky (1923 – 1994) does not see health or disease as an “either – or”, but as two opposite points on a straight line. The two end points are never quite reached. No living human being is completely sick or completely healthy. Even in a terminally ill patient, parts or individual organs are still healthy. On the other hand, everyone who seems perfectly healthy also has an infirmity. Just think of the short-sighted, who would be lost without their glasses but is otherwise healthy.

The most important question now is: In which direction am I moving? Am I going towards health or towards disease? Each person takes their position between the two endpoints in a very individual way. Aaron does not see health as a condition, but as a process. Losing health is a natural process happening by itself. It is popularly said that dying begins at birth. From this point of view, health has to be built up again and again. Let’s now think about what promotes health.

Understanding and Trust

If I understand to a certain extent what is going on in my life and in my environment, then I can deal with it much better. When I know where I come from, what I live for and where I’m going, I have a lot more confidence in my life. This is good for my health. I can largely understand what is happening to me, it is mostly predictable and explainable. But I don’t have to understand everything, life is too complex for that. It presents me with great challenges; but I can handle them and it’s worth the effort.

But I can also set limits. And within these boundaries lie my feelings, my most important priorities, my relationships with other people and existential questions such as personal mistakes, failure, conflicts and dealing with death.

Let’s summarize: I should essentially understand my life, cope with it and recognize the meaning. But how many people suffer because they don’t understand what’s happening to them, because they can’t find a job, or because their most fulfilling occupation is not giving any meaning? If this happens to me, can I change something in my life, or do I need to reconsider my attitude? The serenity prayer fits very well for that: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Power Sources and Resources

It is very important for health to know where I draw strength from. Some tools lie within me. What can I do myself to stay healthy? Just it is often necessary to accept help from outside. Friends, relatives, therapists and doctors can help me. In concrete stressful situations, the help of a reliable support network is considered a very important health factor. This can mitigate the impact of stressful life events and has a positive effect on your well-being. Believers have the greatest source of power at their disposal: God! Am I ready to accept these sources of strength outside of me?

Joy and Cheerfulness

Joy of the heart and a happy mind work like medicine. The effectiveness of laughter has been scientifically proven. Cheerfulness and laughter are important protective factors for the cardiovascular system and the immune system. Constant worry and brooding makes you sick. A lack of joy goes hand in hand with a lack of drive and increased fatigue, as well as reduced concentration and alertness. Then it’s not far to the loss of self-confidence and self-esteem. Pessimistic future prospects and sleep disorders plague depressive people.

Healthy Sleep

Restful sleep is undoubtedly essential to good health. It is known that cell damage and even genetic material can be repaired during sleep and rest. Learned knowledge is also stored during sleep. A periodic change between mental and physical exertion and relaxation phases is vital.

Moderation in Eating Keeps You Young

On the Japanese island of Okinawa live many centenarians. When asked about the secret of their age, many of them reply, “Stop eating before you’re full.” Restricted energy intake does indeed keep you young and healthy. The body then produces substances called sirtuins, which affect cell metabolism. Cells live longer and there is more time to repair genetic defects. Our affluent society with their temptations in the spur of the moment would do well to eat slowly and in moderation. That would give the body enough time to inform the appetite center in the hypothalamus that enough food has arrived and that you are feeling full.

Health as a Human Right

Health is a fundamental human right. But it doesn’t come about by itself. When something is left to its own devices, it always tends toward chaos. Let’s think of rooms that are not cleaned up. Health is an integral part of daily life. It’s a positive concept that challenges the state as much as it challenges the individual. Let’s not primarily look at what makes you ill, but at what makes you healthy or keeps you healthy. That’s the principle of salutogenesis.

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Dealing with Stress as a Young Adult

May 22, 2022 by Martin Neumann - [rt_reading_time label="Reading Time:" postfix="minutes" postfix_singular="minute"]

After you’ve settled into a career, you face a whole new type of stress in your late twenties and thirties. You’re well past the point now where you have to worry about stresses from school such as bullying or grades, but now you’re in a whole new situation: your job, your family, and to a greater extent, you’re now really on your own.

This stage in your life is full of figuring things out and having to put up with a lot of stuff that can be stressful. Most stresses around this age come from your job and finances. This can vary greatly depending on what job or career you’re in by this point, but let’s take the average office job for instance.

Chances are the work is a bit tedious and repetitive, meaning that after a few years, you’ll want a change so badly that you’ll start to worry that you’ve gone into the wrong field for your career.

These regretful kinds of stresses are the worst ones by far, because you feel as though you’re trapped and powerless to undo the path you’re on. You might feel stuck where you are.

For many people around this age, they start feeling as if they’re actually getting old for once. They’re no longer in school, no more being just silly in college, but just living a full adult life.

This can come as a sudden and bizarre revelation, but the concept of feeling old can stress some people out. Some might feel as though the best of their days have blown by, and now they have to be serious for the rest of their life.

A young adult being stressed working on a computer

Another factor that comes with getting a little older is that some people will start to feel as though their bodies aren’t as active as they used to be. As most people go into adulthood, they miss the unending activity and abundant energy they had in school.

But this process doesn’t happen all at once. It can start as early as your late twenties with simple things such as soreness and perhaps some back pain from moving around a certain way. This can take a serious toll on someone’s confidence and can be a major cause of stress.

One of the most serious stress factors around this age can come from having a family. By this time, most people are making decisions about a partner. Perhaps they’re married, and they might even have one or more kids. Parenting alone can cause immense amounts of stress for someone who’s just learning how to go about it, and this goes for all ages of kids.

A young couple struggling to control their kids

People around this age might be a lot more open about what they’re stressed out about than other age groups are, and in fact might be the most clear about it. They’ll often complain about their problems to close friends and family, whether they’re unhappy with their job or worried about feeling older and the responsibilities that go along with it.

Usually you can find out what’s wrong with them by listening to what they choose to complain about. Something many people might start to do around this age is make rash decisions for the sole purpose of breaking up the monotony.

Essentially, by doing something very different from what they’re used to, they feel “alive” again, and are just happy to be doing something different for once. This can vary between getting a new car, going on a vacation, or taking up some kind of strange obsession or hobby.Just something that they can enjoy and ignore work or the stresses of life for a little bit.

One unfortunate sign of stress from people in this age group is that they cease to do things that they used to do for fun. Getting rid of certain hobbies just because they either don’t have the time or money for it anymore is a sign that they’re not having a good time going through this stage in life. For example, if someone used to enjoy doing things with friends every weekend, but now never comes out, chances are they’re going through a lot and want to seclude themselves as a result.

This can lead to additional feelings of loneliness on the part of the person secluding themselves, which can in turn cause even worse stress. One of the best solutions for a lot of stressful problems at this age is to simply have some downtime.

It doesn’t have to be a lot, and it doesn’t have to be expensive, but just having an hour or so to do what you like each day to help decompress can turn someone’s life around really quickly.

If you can take some time to just do nothing for a bit, or something that really gives you joy, then you’ll be a whole lot happier as the day goes on. This can also come in the form of short breaks throughout work, just to revitalize.

Many people get stressed out at this stage over mindset issues, and having a change of attitude can mean the world to them. Switching their outlook from a negative one to a positive one can make things like work, parenting, and aging a whole lot more likable than just sitting there moping and looking on the bad side of everything. Everyone knows there are many drawbacks to those things, but there are also positive aspects that you have to embrace.

When it comes to helping with stress related to body issues, getting into a consistent workout schedule can help immensely. People start to experience things like aches and pains because they aren’t using their bodies as much as they should be – especially if they’re sitting in office chairs all day. By getting into a good workout routine, you’ll be in better shape and you’ll be a lot more mobile.

Stress will happen in every phase of your life, just the nature of the stressors will change over time. Make it a habit early in life to develop healthy coping skills for your stress, and you will be better off for the rest of your life.

Do you need a guide to help you understand how to cope with Stress in an all inclusive approach? Learn how to combat stress, mentally, physically, emotionally and strategically in your life.

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Gas and Oil – For Our Body

May 15, 2022 by Esther Neumann - [rt_reading_time label="Reading Time:" postfix="minutes" postfix_singular="minute"]

Every driver knows what fuel his car runs best on. He also knows what kind of oil the engine needs. He is very well informed about the tire pressure and, of course, about the engine’s performance. Let’s be honest: do you know your body as well as you know your car? Which oil do you work best with?

Research has found that our lifestyle and diet have a huge impact on our genes. Put simply, we can turn genes on or off with our diet and lifestyle. Only after being switched on will they have any impact on our health. It is therefore very important to pay particular attention to these two factors. Not only our car needs optimal care. Our body needs them even more. We can replace a car after a few years, but not our body.

Clear Sight

We take good care that there is always enough water in our car’s windscreen washer system. And what about our bodies? Did you know that brain cells are extraordinarily sensitive to dehydration? The brain is no longer optimally supplied with blood and can no longer perform. Visibility is clouded, like in a car with a dirty windshield. Did you know that the kidneys can no longer produce sufficient dilution of the urine if you drink too little water? The concentration of the substances that have to be excreted is constantly increasing, and the risk of kidney stones is going up. The bladder can be impacted, since without sufficient liquid transport from the kidney, it is no longer sufficiently perfused. This is followed by a massive increase in disease-causing germs. A painful urinary infection is the consequence. If you drink enough, you flush your entire urinary system optimally.

Fill Up the Tank, Please

Everyone who drives away makes sure that there is enough fuel in the car, otherwise they won’t get to their destination. Be sure to fill up the tank of your body in the morning! Blood sugar levels are below normal after waking up. During the night, the glucose was used up for a great many energetic processes. That’s why you have to recharge your batteries with a hearty, wholesome breakfast. Fresh fruits, whole wheat bread bread with a tasty spread, an oatmeal or a granola are the right fuel to start the day.

Oil Change

How many types of oil are offered in the car accessories section! It’s the same in the grocery store. Most car owners know what kind of oil the engine needs. Who knows which oil is ideal for his body? Omega-3 fatty acids are not just empty buzzwords or good for advertising. Omega-3 fatty acids are the big stars protecting the heart and blood vessels. They reduce blood triglycerides, blood pressure and the risk of coronary heart disease. They probably also lower the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease and reduce certain rheumatic complaints. They lower the cholesterol level and alleviate neurodermatitis.

And where do we find omega-3 fatty acids? In a number of vegetable oils and in the fish oil of cold-water fish, i.e. salmon, herring, mackerel, tuna and sardines. Unfortunately, toxic heavy metals such as lead and mercury are very often found in fish. Therefore, it is more advisable to switch to good vegetable oils. Linseed, canola, chia, hemp, walnut and soybean oil contain many omega-3 fatty acids.

Animal fats should be avoided, especially lard. They have a lot of arachidonic acid, which has an inflammatory effect. Unfortunately, fast food or store-bought baked goods frequently use industrial margarine containing trans-fatty acids, which are detrimental for our cells. However, the industry is trying to get rid of this flaw.

Pit Stop

In motorsport, a pit stop is a very short stop at a designated place where various interventions, small repairs and adjustments can be made at lightning speed. Our body also needs a pit stop – but a longer one than in sports. Rest and enough sleep are seen by many today as a luxury. On average, we now sleep about an hour and a half less than a generation before us did. Many adults and even children complain about the consequences of lack of sleep: susceptibility to colds, reduced performance, lack of concentration and a higher frequency of accidents.

In addition to healthy sleep, relaxation during the day is also very important. Lots of things distract us and steal what we need for ourselves – every now and then a few relaxing minutes after work is done. This can be something different for everyone. For some, it means closing your eyes and listening within; for the other to let their eyes wander outside the window. It’s good if they get to see flowers and green trees, just something different than in the working world.

If you can take a walk in nature, you have double the benefit. Feel the wind, breathe the fresh air, listen to the birds singing, enjoy the moment that is all yours and for a moment don’t think about the future or the past. This fills you with gratitude and calm for what you have just been able to accomplish in the past day.

When these pit stops are followed by the weekly day of rest after the six working days, you will experience an oasis in a stressed world. It is not for nothing that our Creator set this day for us. It is also good for our soul.

Our bodies are worth far more than a car. It is worth thinking about what kind of performance we expect from it and how we want to take care of it. However, it is also worthwhile to immediately put the knowledge gained into practice. You will reap the benefits for yourself.

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Dealing with Bipolar Disorder: Causes, Symptoms and Treatments

May 8, 2022 by Dr. Cesar Vasconcellos de Souza - [rt_reading_time label="Reading Time:" postfix="minutes" postfix_singular="minute"]

Do you suffer from bipolar disorder? Do you have anyone in your family who is bipolar? We need to know how to deal with it. Let’s review a few concepts about bipolar affective disorder.

Dealing with Bipolar Disorder: Causes, Symptoms and Treatments

About 1% of the general population suffers from bipolar disorder. It occurs more frequently among first-degree relatives, when one of them has had or is experiencing this suffering. Bipolar disorder generally begins between the ages of 18 and 20, affecting men and women equally. Bipolar disease is as the name says: bi-polar, that is, it has two poles. At one moment the person has euphoria, and at another moment, depression. Euphoria is at one pole and depression is at the opposite pole. A bipolar individual can be euphoric for a few months, agitated if left untreated, and then go into a depressive situation, with or without the normal interval between one phase and another.

There is bipolar type 1 and type 2. The main difference between one type and the other has to do with the severity of the episodes or crises. Bipolar type 1 has a severe euphoric phase, while type 2 has a milder euphoria. When a person is in the euphoria pole of bipolar disorder type 1, they often experience complications at work, school, and relationships. In some cases internment may be necessary. Bipolar type 1 people have periods of deep and long-lasting depression, which alternate with periods of very high, irritable mood, which we call mania or euphoria. The main symptoms of bipolar in the euphoric phase are: irritability, mood exaltation, euphoria, decreased need for sleep, talking too much or running over, great distraction, flight of ideas, that is, the person keeps talking about many exaggerated plans and changing ideas constantly. There is also a demand for compulsive pleasure activities, such as spending more money than you have. The bipolar in the euphoric phase also has a grandiosity, that is, he has an exalted posture, as if he were a king or a god who can do everything.

In order to be diagnosed as bipolar in the manic or euphoric phase, this high mood must not be the result of substance use, or any medical illness.

In the depressive phase, the person with bipolar disorder presents five or more of the symptoms, one of which has to do with depressed mood or loss of pleasure, or interest in that person they liked, in which they were involved. So the symptoms are in the depressive phase: sleeping too much, or having insomnia, loss of energy, weight loss or gain due to appetite change, feeling of worthlessness, excessive guilt, decreased ability to concentrate, marked indecision and preoccupation with death, with suicide. In severe depressive episodes, the patient may contemplate suicide, or has already attempted suicide.

The euphoric or bipolar phase oversteps the boundaries of social life and disrupts relationships, and the agitation can turn into physical aggression. That’s why it’s important to consult a psychiatrist to prescribe medication that controls this. Often family members and medical staff are the targets of this aggression. The treatment of bipolar disorder should be done with a psychiatrist or psychologist, with the family being oriented on what to do to help. In euphoric crises, it’s no use talking, nor taking to the psychologist or psychotherapist. Medication is the priority treatment to try to get the person out of the symptoms of agitation, which prevents a productive dialogue. However in the depressive phase, in addition to medication, psychotherapy helps to improve.

A woman wearing two shirts of different color, symbolizing the bipolar disorder

There is no single theory about the causes of bipolar disorder. Some claim that the conscious area and the unconscious area can conflict, causing behavior changes. Failure to resolve these conflicts would actually be the cause of various mental illnesses. In the case of depression, there are theories that say that the person develops depressive symptoms as a manifestation of anger against himself.

One of these theories explains that parents with unhealthy behavior, who are inconsistent, that is, sometimes happy, sometimes angry and nervous with their children, without a good expression of affection towards them, who are driven by their selfish needs, create an unpredictable and hostile environment throughout childhood. As a result, the child feels alone, confused and helpless, and ultimately angry. But the child knows that his parents are his only means of survival. So out of fear, love and guilt, the child represses the anger towards the parents, who act badly towards him, thus turning the anger against himself and the thought of being despised arises in his mind, and he then starts to believe that he is an unlovable and bad person.

And at the same time, the child strives to present perfect behavior, acceptable to parents, as a way of compensating for the weaknesses that he perceives, and which becomes unacceptable to demanding and neurotic parents. So the child feels caught between the child he finds unacceptable and the one who needs to act perfectly to get his parents’ love. As a result of this conflict, the child becomes “neurotic,” or prone to experiencing exaggerated feelings of anxiety and depression. A constant feeling develops in the child’s mind that he is not good enough, no matter how hard he tries to get it right. This neurotic need to please, accompanied by a failure to do so, can spread throughout the child’s life, so that he or she may begin to feel an unhealthy need to be loved by everyone, peers, family, co-workers, and others.

A man with a rose pointed at his head like a gun, symbolizing the conflict of acceptance.

So, the goal of psychological treatment, which is psychotherapy in the psychodynamic approach, can help the child, now an adult, and suffering from depression or symptom, to obtain information about the mistaken foundations of his belief in his own badness and inadequacy, so that the need to punish himself and to be perfect diminishes. It is interesting that, for example, the husband who had a childhood in which his parents were too critical of him, who belittled him, did not show praise and affection, this boy grows up, becomes an adult, and marries a woman who repeats the role of his parents, belittling him, not valuing anything about him. A wife with a selfish, attention-sucking posture favors the emergence of depression in her husband.

In adult life, the person who had an emotionally painful childhood, having suffered due to the bad behavior of the parents, will have difficulties in their relationships with other people, besides their own spouse. For example, he may have a colleague or boss at work who repeats the derogatory role of parents, causing sadness in the sensitive individual. So imagine for a moment how painful it is for the individual who had a childhood lived with parents who did not know how to value him, and who in adult life interacts with a group that devalues him, criticizes more than praises, and on top of that still lives in a work environment with a similar situation, of being devalued. Difficult, isn’t it? So we can say that in depression, whether it’s bipolar disorder or not, there is an ongoing struggle that depressed people face in trying to maintain emotional contact with the important people in their life.

Some depressed people suffer because they feel dependent on relationships with others, and they grieve over the threatened or actual loss of that relationship. As a healthy affective bond between their parents and them was not formed in childhood, feelings of helplessness and weakness arose. These people experience intense fears of abandonment, and they struggle hard to maintain direct physical contact with the gratifying object of need.

So if you have a bipolar family member who is in the euphoric phase, you need medication to control this difficult attitude. If you are in the depressive phase, psychotherapy is very important along with medication, depending on the degree of depression.

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